God is Good. I am a Witness... Update on Month 6 and Re-entry

Hello all!

So it's been 2 months since I posted an update but there's a valid reason. So September was our last month serving on the field. It consisted of testing, grading and lots of goodbyes. It was hard yet an amazing month. And then came re-entry. Our class reunited in Montana and stayed in an amazing cabin up on a mountain. We had discussions about some great books and about our time on the field. It was really great seeing how the Lord has worked in all of our lives and changed our hearts in the past 6 months. We unpacked things that we were feeling like fear, excitement, sadness. We talked about these feelings and walked through culture shock together. We soaked all of our fears and worries in prayer, sorted through what God did in all of our lives during field time and then got sent back out to share these experiences with those back at our home churches. It was amazing to see my class again. So even more, it was brutal saying goodbye to them last Saturday when re-entry ended. I'm so thankful for the people God gave me to go through these last 10 months with. I am especially grateful for the 4 of my classmates that made up my incredible family for the past 7 months. They are wonderful and I can't imagine what field time would have been like without them. The Lord showed us what true unity looks like when we learned how to die to ourselves and love each other no matter what. The Lord is the only way to explain how our team became so close. When we started 7 months ago, we were all opposites that didn't really get a long and had no idea how we were ever going to be a team and work together. But man, oh man, when I said goodbye to them on two days ago, it felt like severing my limbs and sending them all over the country. It was so hard to say goodbye but I am so thankful for how much it hurt because it shows me the amazing work that the Lord did in us.

So if you have not heard, I am staying in Whitefish, Montana to serve with Potter's Field for my last two months of IGNITE and after visiting family and friends for Christmas, I will return to Montana until God moves me elsewhere. I don't know what's next. I don't even know what tomorrow looks like but I do know that the Lord led me here and He has been with me through the last year and He isn't going to leave me. He is so good and so faithful and I could never earn His grace.

Thank you so much for your support over these last 10 months. I am so beyond blessed.

Stay tuned to this blog to see what happens next!

God is good. I am a witness!

By His Grace,

MaKayla

A Beautiful Contrast - Titus 3:1-7

Titus 3:1-7

“Remind them to be subject to rulers and authorities, to obey, to be ready for every good work, to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, showing all humility to all men. For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another. But when the kindness and the love of God our Savior toward man appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life.”

This passage is such an exact definition of what my life was a year ago, what the Lord has done in the last 9 months, and now what I am called to do. I was foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating others. This list is progressive. It started with being foolish because I wasn't grounded in the Lord and His Word. That led to being disobedient. Disobedient to my mom, to my pastor and most importantly to the Lord. Because of these first two, I opened myself up to being deceived. And I was. I was lied to and manipulated. Not only to do the things that I did but I was also deceived by Satan to believe that I was too far gone to be saved. I believed that I was too big of a sinner and that God didn't want me anymore. From there, I fell hard into serving my lusts and pleasures. This led to living in malice and envy of those around me that were involved in the same sin. We were all selfish and angry. This meant being hateful and hating each other. I hated everything. I was so unhappy and I hated my life. I hated those that hurt me. I hated what I was doing. I hated being alive.

But when I joined IGNITE, I experience God's love and kindness. I learned that He loved me no matter what I had done and He had plans for me and wanted me to come to repentance and experience His forgiveness so that He could use me. I wasn't saved by anything that I did. There was no work that I could have done that would have saved me. My salvation was a gift given through His mercy. He washed me and filled me with the Holy Spirit. This wasn't just a once filled type of thing. He poured His Spirit on me abundantly, and this through Jesus. Because of Jesus' sacrifice, I am truly alive and free from the chains of sin that kept me (seemingly) hopelessly captive before. I am now an heir and have the hope of eternal life. What a beautiful contrast! How completely opposite was my life a year ago compared to the life I have now. God is so good and so faithful.

So now with this new life that I have been given, I need to remember to submit to the authorities that God has placed in my life, to be ready for the good works that the Lord has for me to do, to speak evil of no one, to be peaceable, gentle, and humble. This means to be these things with everyone, no matter who they are or how they treat me. I need to remember that I used to be without God just like them. These things are hard but possible with the Lord. This is such a good reminder for me as my serving time in IGNITE comes to an end this week. Just because my time on the foreign mission field is ending does not mean that I don't still need to live my life this way when I go back to the States. My mission field doesn't stop here. My mission field is wherever God places me.

My application this week is to make this passage a bookmark for my Bible as a daily reminder.  

No Condemnation... Romans 8:1

Romans 8:1 says,
“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.”

So my life was really messed up last year. I made a lot of really stupid decisions and blatantly sinned against the Lord. I lived in a mess of disgusting sin, complete hypocrisy and false holiness. I pretended to have a relationship with Christ while running fast and hard away from Him. At the beginning of this year, God rescued me from myself and showed me that I am not too far from His saving grace. Something that I face on a pretty regular basis is memories and guilt from what I did. I am no longer living in that sin but that doesn't mean that I don't still have consequences from it. So yesterday was one of those days where I had to come face to face with my past and recount the things that I had done. Something though that is so important but often hard to remember is that my past is exactly that, past. It's gone; behind me. I am washed in the Blood of the Lamb and I am in Christ Jesus. Now because I am in Christ Jesus I need to know that there is no condemnation for me. There is conviction from the Holy Spirit when I sin but no condemnation. The devil is constantly trying to drag us down and away from God. One of the ways that he accomplishes this is by throwing condemnation at us. He wants us to believe that we are too bad; too far from grace; not good enough for God to love. But those thoughts are not from God. I am not worthless. I am not too far gone. I have made bad choices. I have hurt people. But I am in Christ Jesus and now I have a future. I am free from the chains of sin and condemnation. Satan can try to throw these things in my face but they no longer have any truth in Christ. I don't have to live in fear of not having a future because of the truth of this next verse:

Romans 8:28 says,
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

My application for this week is to write “no condemnation” on my right hand.

Where Is Your Faith? Luke 8:22-25

Luke 8:22-25 says,

“Now it happened, on a certain day, that He got into a boat with His disciples. And He said to them, 'Let us cross over to the other side of the lake.'And they launched out. But as they sailed He fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water, and were in jeopardy. And they came to Him and awoke Him, saying, 'Master, Master, we are perishing!' Then He arose and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water. And they ceased, and there was a calm. But He said to them, 'Where is your faith?'And they were afraid, and marveled, saying to one another, 'Who can this be? For He commands even the winds and water, and they obey Him!'”

This past Saturday, we had a Women’s Bible Study at church and part of what was shared was about God's faithfulness and trustworthiness. At one point, Miss Karol said something about how the Lord has never left us or let us go so why do we fear? Why don't we trust Him? He's brought us this far, why would He leave us now? This was very convicting to me because only a few hours before this, I had mentioned to the girls on my team how fearful I am of the future because it's so unsure. Well I've been reading through Luke in my personal devotions and so Sunday morning, I read the above passage in Luke 8 and I was convicted even more. Let me explain.

So Jesus' disciples had been with Him for a good amount of time by this point. They had seen miracle upon miracle and listened to so many sermons and parables of His. They have been walking right beside the Son of God and then they get on this boat and entered a storm. They should have realized that this storm was so not a big deal for Jesus. In reality they had nothing to fear. They were with Jesus, for goodness sake! Didn't they remember all that He had done so far??? But there they were, only seeing the storm in front of them and freaking out, convinced that they were about to die. So then they wake up Jesus, informing Him of their seemingly imminent death. But for Jesus, He just calms the storm like it's just another day and asks them where their faith is. “Hello, haven't you seen me perform miracles on a regular basis? Don't you remember who I am? Why do you fret? Why can't you trust me?”

So my first thoughts after reading this are that the disciples are ridiculous and foolish for being scared. But then I remember my fear. “Um, Hello Mak, you've experienced God's faithfulness. You've seen the miracle that He has done with your life. You've seen what He can do with messes and wrecks. And yet you are currently fearful for your future. You doubt that the Lord is going to take care of you and provide. You doubt His capability. You doubt His power and sovereignty. Who are you to judge those who doubt?” Okay, point taken. Those things happening one right after the other was clearly the Lord responding to my admitted fear. “Where is your faith, beloved? Remember Who I am. Remember my promises and my faithfulness. I know what I'm doing.” So realizing all of this, I can now look at this passage that Miss Karol shared on Saturday as a reminder instead of not believing that it applies to me.

Proverbs 3:25-26 says,

“Do not be afraid of sudden terror,
Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes;
For the Lord will be your confidence,
And will keep your foot from being caught.”

God is good. He is faithful. I am so thankful for what hes done in the last 8 months and I am excited to just lean on Him in this new phase of life. Things seem uncertain but I know that this is where He has called me so I am stepping out in faith knowing that He is there and will never leave me.

My application for this week is to give my insecurities and fears to Jesus and take time to journal about what He has done in my life and the reminders of His faithfulness. Also to journal the Scriptures that He has laid on my heart to remind me that He holds my future and that there is nothing to fear.

So Good to Me... Psalm 40:1-3

Psalm 40:1-3 says,

“I waited patiently for the Lord; And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, And will trust in the Lord.”

So we have chapel every Thursday night here in Guatemala. Some of the girls that usually lead worship love this song called, “So Good to Me” and so it gets played often. Well, that song came pretty directly out of this passage in Psalm 40. I love this song but I don't really think about what it says often enough. So when I read this in my morning devotions the other day, I was hit afresh with the deep significance of what David is saying here.

Okay, I have sinned a lot in my life. I sin everyday. But last year, I had dug the most horrible pit of sin for myself. I was living a life of ugly and dirty bold-faced hypocrisy. I got to the point eventually where I was convinced that God didn't want to hear from me. I had a relationship with Him but I chose to walk away from Him, knowing what He had done for me on the cross, so therefore I was sure that He must have hated me. But then for some reason, knowing the cry of my heart, God picked me up out of that mess that I had put myself in. I have been washed in Jesus' blood and made perfect in His sight. This year, He set me upon a rock and has established my steps. To establish means to set up on a firm or permanent basis. This is what He has done! My path was so unsteady and broken and He picked me up and off of that way and made my steps firm and my path permanent. As a result of all of this, He has given me a new song of gratefulness. The only song I had before was of self pity and misery and now I don't feel content without praising the One who has brought me here. I know that this new life that I have wasn't given to me for me to live however I want but to always be able to tell others of what He has done for me.

My application for this week is to remember to be so thankful for what God has done for me. When I get frustrated or tired I need to remember the grace and love that has been given to me and praise Him for it.  

Nevertheless At Your Word... Luke 5:4-6

Luke 5:4-6 says,

“When He had stopped speaking, He said to Simon, 'Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.' But Simon answered and said to Him, 'Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at Your word I will let down the net.' And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish, and their net was breaking. ”

So this was from my devotions this morning and I couldn't stop going back to it. I love Peter's response. It just makes me think of how often I don't trust God and I think that I know better. Simon Peter was a fisherman. He knew what He was doing and He had been trying to catch all night. Jesus' request probably sounded ridiculous. My thoughts most likely would have been, “Doesn't He realize that I have tried that already? He has no idea what He's talking about. Doesn't He know that this is my job?” But no. His response was nothing like that. As far as we know, he barely knew Jesus, but he trusted Him anyways.  He recognized Jesus as authority when he called Him Master. Instead of being prideful and thinking that he knew everything, he humbled himself and obeyed. And his faith did not go unrewarded. Not only did they catch fish but they caught so much that the net was breaking and in the following verses it talks about how they filled 2 boats with so much that they started to sink! How incredible is that!

Okay, so in life, sometimes what God tells me to do doesn't make any sense to me. I forget that He sees the finished tapestry and I only see a bunch of tangled strings. So many times, my response is, “Lord, I have my own plans and I really like them and I would rather not follow yours.” Or ,”God I am really comfortable where I am and I don't want to experience change.” In November of 2013, my response was, “Lord, I know that you have called me to IGNITE in Guatemala, but I'm comfortable in California with my job and housing situation and not having to stretch or change and following You will take faith and trust because I don't have the funds to go so instead, I'm not going to obey you and I'm going to stay put.” I can honestly say that that this decision not to follow God's plans caused so much heartache in the year and a half that followed and if I could go back in time I would change it. But I also know that finally deciding to obey in January of this year, because I felt like I had no other option, has led to more blessing than I could ever imagine. That obedience has led to so much more grace, forgiveness, love and provision than I ever expected to receive. I wish that I would have chosen to obey when I was first called to it instead of waiting until I was so deep in a hole of sin that obeying was my last option. But I am so grateful because I have still been abundantly blessed even though I was so slow to obedience. I pray that in the future, my response will be,”Nevertheless at Your word, Lord,” from the beginning. 

My application for this week is to write, “Nevertheless at Your word,” on my wall so that I have a reminder of what my response to God's calling needs to be.  

Knocked Down, Not Knocked Out... 2 Corinthians 4:6-10

2nd Corinthians 4:6-10

“For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.” 

So we had a missions team come stay with us last week from Calvary Chapel San Juan Capistrano in California and their youth pastor, Pastor Andrew, shared at chapel last Thursday on 2nd Corinthians 4 and this passage (verses 6-10) really stuck out to me. 

We are earthen vessels filled with the power of God. We're like broken falling apart treasure chests that really shouldn't be holding treasure because it keeps spilling out. But as the treasures falls out it effects others.  

There has been a lot of visible change in my heart and mind in the last 8 months. The Lord has done an amazing work in me and I don't say that to boast but to say that I can't explain it except for Jesus. He is so good and for some reason He wants to work in me and every other sinner in this broken world to touch others for Him. It is obvious that I am just a powerless earthen vessel and so when God uses me, it's SO obvious that it is Him and not me because I really am powerless and on my own not capable of doing anything truly good. My prayer is that when people see me, they understand that nothing good that I do is of me but it is the power of the Lord; I really have nothing to do with it.

As a follower of Christ, I have seen and will see hard times. There is pressure from the world. There is confusion, persecution and pain. But these things cannot truly hurt me. Sure, it hurts in this life but this earthly life is not all I have. I'm going to heaven. Right now, I'm only knocked down, not knocked out. I am promised persecution in this life, it will happen. But God. I don't have to fear the things that happen to me here. I know that it is all for the glory of my God and I will come face to face with Him one day and I want to know that I knew my role in this world, in this ministry that is my life. This life is not about me. This ministry is not about me. Salvation has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God and that brings me so much joy. I cannot save myself and I don't have to try. It's all about Jesus. This life is not really mine. I am called to die daily that Christ may live through me. I remember what the death of my Jesus has done for me so that His resurrection power may shine through my life. 

My application this week is to write “Knocked down, not knocked out” on my right wrist and “It's not about me but about Him” on my left wrist as reminders.

Field Time so far... Months 4 and 5

      As I type this, there are exactly 5 weeks until my team and I leave Guatemala for reentry in Montana with the rest of our class. How did this happen so quickly? I swear it was January yesterday! These last 8 months have been amazing and God has been so good and faithful in showing me what a mess my life was without Him and the amazing plans that He has for me and desires for me to walk in.

     So somehow, I completely spaced out on writing an update for July- August, so this month's update will be about mid-July – mid-September.

     July and August were full of missions trips. So busy. So good. Almost every week we had a new team coming in from different places in the States. It has been amazing getting to meet so many new people, hear what God is doing in their lives, and share with them what the Lord has done in my life through this year. With the missions teams, we did outreaches in markets and parks, went to the hospital, threw huge, carnival type Kid's Clubs (which the kids LOVED by the way), and went to the dump in Esquintla. One of my team's new favorite outreaches that we just started doing a few months ago is bring pancakes and eggs to Antigua's Central Park and giving them away to the vendor's that work there. These outreaches are full of fun times, huge smiles and fellowship.

     So, most likely, the reason that I forgot to write an update is because the second week of August, a team of Potter's Field Sponsors came and that week was EXTREMELY busy and amazing. God blessed me so much during that trip through the people that I met. He also confirmed a calling in my heart that I had started feeling but wasn't sure about.

     In the midst of all the missions team, we are still teaching at four schools a week and having between 1 and 3 Kid's Clubs a week at different locations. God is so good. He is so faithful and He is still teaching me more about Himself every day.

     Thank you for your prayers and support! I am excited for what the Lord has to show me in the last few months of this amazing journey.

By His Grace,

MaKayla  

Stones of Remembrance... Joshua 4:2-7

Joshua 4:2, 6-7

“‘Take for yourselves twelve stones from here, out of the midst of the Jordan, from the place where the priests’ feet stood firm... that this may be a sign among you when your children ask in time to come, saying, ‘What do these stones mean to you?’ Then you shall answer them that the waters of the Jordan were cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord; when it crossed over the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. And these stones shall be for a memorial to the children of Israel forever.”

My life has been filled with things that I now look back at as memorial stones...

 God has protected and delivered me numerous times. The biggest time that comes to mind though is from this past year. It was my crossing the Jordan. I was living a completely hypocritical lifestyle; completely backslidden and blatantly running away from the Lord. I don't know why, but the Lord broke into my life and plucked me up out of that lifestyle of sin and placed me in a safe place. What the Lord has done in my life is something that I could never do on my own.

 Since then, God has shown me many things. He has provided. He has loved me even when I'm confused, scared or angry and I just want to run away. He has broken the me that I had made and started to mold me into who He wants me to be. He has provided me with so many memorial stones so that when I start to doubt, I can look back and remember what He has done and what He brought me from. The memorial stones are also there so that I can point others to His faithfulness. When they doubt or are afraid, I can tell them about what He has done in my life. One day, I'll be able to tell my children about what God has done. I can tell them of His love, grace and forgiveness. 

My application this week is to draw a picture of what these verses mean to me.

Lessons Learned In The Waiting... Proverbs 19:21

Proverbs 19:21 says,

“There are many plans in a man’s heart, nevertheless the Lord’s counsel—that will stand.”

I am a planner. I love to be prepared. I don't naturally like surprises or changes. God knows this about me. He knows that I like knowing details. Before this year, I didn't fully understand what it meant to be flexible. I've learned that being flexible is thinking that you're going to do one thing and at the very last second, being told that something else completely different needs to be done, and then being 100% okay with that no matter what changes that brings to your plans. This is something that He has been teaching me this year and I know that it is to prepare me for the future. You see, I planned my future. I've made plans for myself tons of times. I'm gonna be a masseuse. I'm going to be a counselor. I'm going to college. I'm going to be married by 22. I'm going to Africa. I plan and God laughs. I can imagine Him saying, “Doesn't she know by now that my plans are so much greater than anything she can ever imagine?”

Isaiah 55:8-9 says,

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.”

But still I plan. The past few months have been difficult because I can't plan. I don't know exactly what is happening after this program. I can't answer questions about the future with anything more than, I'm really not sure what is happening but I know that the Lord is in control. I know that He has placed a calling on my heart and I'm not sure what the future looks like but I know for sure that He has a plan. God is teaching me to trust Him. There are certain burdens and desires that have been placed on my heart just recently but I don't know when those things will happen. And I'm learning to be content in waiting. I know that God is good and that He has placed desires in my heart and He will not withhold these things from me when I am walking in His way.

Psalm 84:11 says,

“For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord will give grace and glory; No good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly.”

A friend of mine was sharing something with us the other day that really stuck out to me. God gives us promises. Sometimes we can see those promises and so we do things to make the promise come to be sooner than God's plans because we get impatient. “I can see it so I must be able to have it!” When I learn to wait on the Lord and His timing, I learn to focus on the here and now and I learn so much more than when I am looking so far ahead into the future. God has lessons to teach me here and now. He has things He wants me to learn so that I can be ready for the future that He has planned for me.

My application this week is to submit my plans to the Lord. Whenever I start thinking too far into the future, I will give those thoughts to the Lord and ask Him what He wants me to learn right now in the waiting.

His Burden is Light... Matthew 11:28-29

Matthew 11:28-29

“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” 

Heavy. That is the best way to describe how I've been feeling the last few weeks. Not just heavy, but ever increasingly so. Different situations have been coming to light that just break my heart. God is opening my eyes to how evil this world actually is. I can't just stop seeing it anymore because he's bringing it right to my doorstep. It is apparent to me that the Lord is truly breaking my heart for what breaks His. It seems that He is preparing me for whatever He has for me in the future. And that is exciting. But man, it's also really hard. And just, heavy. 

And then the Truth steps in. The burden of this world is heavy. It's hard and scary and overwhelming. This world is fallen and evil. So many bad things happen constantly. But Jesus' yoke is easy and His burden is light. I am meant to have compassion for this world and a heart for the lost to be found. But it isn't right for me to bear that burden alone. I need to give it to Him. I was talking to a leader today and she said something that really helped me. Cattle and oxen have yokes on them but it isn't too heavy and they are able to keep working because it is balanced. The yoke is designed so that even though it is heavy, they can bear it. Jesus balances us when we let Him. We just have to give our burdens to Him.

My application this week is to lift up the people that the Lord has been laying on my heart and allow Him to lift the burden off my shoulders as He takes care of them.

Be Steadfast in All Your Ways... Proverbs 4:25-27

Proverbs 4:25-27 says,

“Let your eyes look straight ahead;

fix your gaze directly before you.

Give careful thought to the paths for your feet

and be steadfast in all your ways.

Do not turn to the right or the left;

keep your foot from evil.” 

I get easily distracted. I get bored or scared or nervous or many other things and I let myself veer off of what I am supposed to be focused on. I am in a year long program which means that at this point, at least the next 5 months are pretty decided. I don't know the detail of what will happen in these next five months but I do know that I have dedicated this year to getting closer to Jesus and serving in whatever ways He has for me while I am in this program. After that, I really have no idea what God has for me. I have ideas and plans but nothing is firmly decided or set in stone. I don't know for sure where I will be or what I will be doing a year from now. Quite honestly, that scares me. But I keep having to go back to the fact that God has me. He knows me and He knows the plans He has for me. He made me and has prepared good works for me before the beginning of time that He desires me to walk in(Eph 2:10). 

So lately I've been fretting about things. “Lord, what am I going to be doing after IGNITE?” “Where am I going to be living and am I going to have a car?” “God, when am I going to get married and to who???” “Jesus, how are things going to work out?” I think God probably just looks at me and shakes His head, thinking, “If she would only trust me and focus on what I have for her to do right now. I'm holding her and I know exactly how everything is going to play out.”  So this morning, I read this passage and it smacked me upside the head. “Mak, stop fretting. Stop getting distracted. Stop trying to make your own plans. Focus on today. Focus on where you are right now. Focus on the opportunities that you have right now.” In our commitment statement that we made as a class during training, we wrote that one of our goals was to “be where we are and commit to where we are sent.” That means to focus on the ministry and the people and the team that God has put me in right now. If I just focus on where He has me and the path He has me on right now, all the other things will work out. God laughs when I make plans so I might as well quit trying. He knows so much better than I do because He see everything start to finish whereas I only see what's going on right now. 

I also need to make sure that I don't get bored or lazy and instead of looking straight ahead at the path that God has me on right now, start to veer off into sin. “I would rather focus on this over here. I would rather see what would happen if I did this.” I need to be steadfast; immovable. Determined and focused to stay in God's will for me. 

My application this week is to draw a picture of what this verse means to me and put it on my wall.

Do Not Be Entangled Again... Galatians 5:1

Galatians 5:1 says,

“Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.”

 Before I rededicated my life to Christ, I thought that I was too far gone to be saved. I thought that there was no way that God wanted to hear from me. I longed to speak to Him. I wanted to read the Bible. Even though I had always been told of His grace and forgiveness, I was so convinced that I was too dirty to be washed clean and that God would never want me back. I thought that I was worse than others because I knew about Jesus and had experienced His love and I deliberately walked away from Him and His plans for me. 

It's a habit of mine to forget what Jesus has done for me. Satan throws thoughts of guilt, condemnation, bad memories of what I've done and inadequacy my way and I get so wrapped up in them that I forget the truth. I dwell on the sin and forget that “there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Romans 8:1). During our 3 months of training, I remember one of the teachers saying that when you reject God's grace, you are putting Jesus back on the cross all over again. Jesus took all of my sin upon himself when He died and bridged the gap between me and God when he raised from the dead. The moment that I repented and asked God to save me, He forgot my sins. He has no records of them. But Satan doesn't want us to experience “the liberty by which Christ has made us free.” He wants me to stay entangled in the bondage of sin. When I dwell on thoughts of my past, I pick up my chains again. I need to remember the freedom that Christ has given me. Instead of dwelling on the past, I need to press ahead toward the plans that God has for me. 

Philippians 3:13-14 says,

“Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

My application this week is to post these verses on my wall as a reminder of my freedom and future in Christ.

No Right to Unforgiveness... Matthew 18:27, 29

Matthew 18:27, 29 say,
“Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.”

“His fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.”

I'll be referencing the passage of the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant from Matthew 18:25-35.

So I've been forgiven for a lot. I mean A LOT. God is so gracious and good and not only has He forgiven me but He has given freedom from sin and guilt and He has an amazing plan for my life that He wants me to walk in. He didn't say, “Okay I forgive you but you have to walk in the shame of everything you've ever done and because of your sin, you will never be able to do anything do with your life for My name.” No, that is the complete opposite of what He says. When I repent, He forgets my sin and casts it as far as the east is from the west! There is no record. No list of wrongs. I'm free; it's gone. Jesus took my sin upon himself so that I could have this amazing freedom and relationship with God! He himself bridged the gap that should never have been bridged because of my sin.

Okay, so now all of that being said, what right do I think I have to ever hold back forgiveness from someone and hang on to a grudge? No one could ever do anything that makes them too far gone to be forgiven. We've been forgiven from the unimaginable by a perfect God so why in the world do we think that we can not forgive. I'm not saying that people don't hurt us. Forgiving doesn't mean that what was done is okay. It means that you won't be corrupted by bitterness any longer. To forgive doesn't even mean to trust immediately or ever. But when we hold onto bitterness, we are the ones who suffer. Bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Hebrews 12:15 says,
“Looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled.”

Bitterness is a weed and it happens fast. We need to cut it out at the root so that it won't come back. Okay so back to the parable. One servant was forgiven from an incredible debt from his master but then turned around and demanded a debt be paid to him by a fellow servant who owed him so much less than what the first servant had just been forgiven of. We look at this at first glance and think he's crazy but we do this all the time. We have been forgiven from so much that we can't even put into words what our debt to Christ was, yet when someone slanders us or mistreats us or whatever they do, we hold grudges and throw temper tantrums and refuse to forgive. I am so guilty of this. I look at other people who are living lives of sin or who have wronged me and think, “Wow, how awful are they. I could never forgive them!” But why not? I have been forgiven of so much more! Lots of times I end up judging someone for living a life of sin that is so similar to the way that I used to live. What right do I have? I have been forgiven and given freedom beyond what I could ever deserve. I spit in Jesus' face and put Him on the cross yet I hold grudges for what could be compared to someone just stepping on my toes. This is something that I have to constantly remind myself. I have no right not to forgive. I don't deserve forgiveness any more than they do yet God freely gives it to anyone who will confess His name and repent.

My application this week is to pray for my unforgiving heart to change and for compassion to flood my heart where bitterness was before.

Field Time So Far... Month 3

Hi friends!

     So today marks six months since classes started for IGNITE Class 8 and three months since Team Guat landed back in here Guatemala for our serving period. Well, a lot has changed in the last 6 months but the biggest thing is the incredible change that God has made in my life and the amazing grace that He has shown me.

     In the month of June, a lot of changes have come for us in Guat. The Drey Family left June 14^th while Theo came back on the 15^th. We had two weeks off of teaching for the the kid's summer break(their school year goes from January-October with a break in June instead of September-June like in the States). During those two weeks, missions trips started coming and we did lots of outreaches with them. We choreographed a mime showing the life of Paul set to the song Oceans(in Spanish) and presented it at several locations throughout town while also doing worship, talking to people about Jesus, praying with them and inviting them to church. We also went to the dump at Esquintla to help with a soup kitchen while also hanging out with the kids. We helped throw birthday parties at the local hospital for people with different special needs who live there.

     After the 2 week break, we returned to teaching at the schools. Last week, I found out that I had amoebas resulting most likely from having water accidentally splashed in my mouth during water games at Kid's Club a month ago. Four out of the five of us got amoebas/parasites/bacteria from this. I finished my antibiotics yesterday and should be back to normal soon. :) This past Saturday, July 11th, 12 new students arrived here at the Potter's Field Center in Antigua for IGNITE Class 9 and they started classes yesterday. This month has definitely been a month of transition but during these six months, transition has become a norm, and of this I am very thankful. Change used to be very hard for me and while it's not exactly a piece of cake now, I have become much more flexible. God is so good and the things that He is showing me and my team individually and as a whole blow me away. Please keep us in your prayers!

Thank you for your support!

By His Grace,

MaKayla

The Lord is My Refuge... Psalm 91

Psalm 91:4-6 says,

He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. 

So lately I've been having nightmares. They aren't fun. But the other day, a friend directed me to Psalm 91 and it is such an amazing and comforting Psalm. As a missionary, I notice spiritual warfare way more than I ever used to. Satan hates the work that Christians do and he sends things at them to distract them from what God has for them to do. Besides nightmares, I also found out that I have had amoebas for almost a month(the whole city is kind of breaking out with them right now). Satan wants us to look anywhere but at God. His goal is make us think that God has abandoned us or doesn't care about us.  So promises like these in Psalm 91 are beautiful and encouraging. Okay, first off, my God covers me. He protects me and keeps me safe. I don't have to fear anything that comes my way. I don't have to fear sickness, or nightmares, or anything else because my God is always there and always protects. What does it mean when it talks about His feathers and the shadow of His wings? It reminds me of when a mother hen protects her chicks with her feathers. They are safe with her. What a beautiful picture of our Lord hiding us and giving us a refuge in Him and what an intimate picture that is.

Psalm 91:9-12 says,

“If you say, 'The Lord is my refuge,' and you make the Most High your dwelling, no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. 

Making our dwelling in the Most High God is our choice. It is our choice to stop trying to get through things in our own strength. Because when we give it to God and say that He is our refuge, He will protect us. This also means though that if we do not go to the Lord as our refuge, we can't expect Him to protect us. I am stubborn and sometimes I get caught up in what is happening that I just struggle to fix it on my own. But God gently reminds me that I don't have to. I just have to give the situation over to Him and hide in Him and let Him be my refuge. Building a refuge on my own compared to finding my hiding place in the Almighty God is like expecting a fort made out of cardboard boxes to protect me rather than finding shelter in the huge walled in castle right next door.

Psalm 91:14-16 says,

“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.” 

He will rescue me! I  never realized how true this is until February this year when I realized that the way  I was living was so far from God. I cried out to Him and He delivered me. He rescued me from the situation that I had even put myself in. He answered me and showed me His salvation and for that I could never show enough gratitude but what I can do is spend my life praising the One that Saved me and constantly point others to Him.

My application this week is to memorize Psalm 91. It's pretty long but I think it's a very important promise to hide in my heart.

Those who trust in the Lord... Psalm 125:1-2

 Psalm 125:1-2 says,
“Those who trust in the Lord
Are like Mount Zion,
Which cannot be moved, but abides forever.
As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
So the Lord surrounds His people
From this time forth and forever.”

These promises make me rejoice. Those who trust in the Lord. That's me! It doesn't say those that are good people or who do good things. Those who trust in Him! It's not always easy. We're human; we get scared. It's also very tempting to think that we know best. Sometimes, I think that I can get through life on my own with my own knowledge and my own plans. But just looking through the Bible shows us how trustworthy our Lord is. And we simply cannot trust ourselves. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, And desperately wicked; Who can know it?” There is no good thing in us to trust. But when we trust in God, we become immovable. It's not from our strength or anything we can do. But because of God's strength; He gives those who trust Him stability. We cannot be moved. And when we trust in Him we have eternal life. This also means that when we don't trust in the Lord, we are going to fall. We will have no stability; no structure.

A second promise in this passage is that God surrounds us. He is our protection. Forever.

Romans 8:31, 33-35, 37-39
What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?... Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?... In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

This doesn't mean that we will never hurt or go through trials or pain. In fact, those are guaranteed. But in the midst of those things, God will never leave us. And we can't be taken from His protection. When we trust in Him, there is not anything that can separate us from His love. Nothing. No one can be against us; no one can bring a charge against us; no one can condemn us. We are more than conquerors. You know you'd think that being a conqueror is enough, but in Christ, we are more than conquerors. What an awesome picture of who our God is. The strength He has. None of this has anything to do with us. This is all through His grace, His strength, His goodness. No one can come against Him and because we who trust in Him are His, no one can defeat us.


My application is make Psalm 125:1-2 a bookmark so that I see it continually and am reminded of who my God is and who I am in Him.

All the little things... Colossians 3:23-24

Colossians 3:23-24 says,

 “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.”

This verse is an awesome reminder for me right now. We are almost halfway through our field time which also means we are about halfway through the IGNITE Program as a whole. Life is very rhythmic here. For the most part, we have a busy but consistent schedule. It's easy to get comfortable in the normal flow of things and forget why I am here. So this verse is helpful to remember. It doesn't matter what I am doing; I am told to do it heartily as to the Lord. And that doesn't just mean the “big” ministry things that I am involved in. Lots of people only see big things as important to God but it is made very clear that it's supposed to be whatever we do. That means how I treat my team, how I submit to authority, how I react to migraines, how I treat people after a long busy day at school, cleaning the kitchen, helping prepare food, cleaning my room. Whatever I do. Every little thing. If you think about it, anything we can offer is small to God. But He wants all of it and He wants it to be done with all of our hearts.

Galatians 6:9 says,

 “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”

This verse has also been encouraging to me. God laid this verse on my heart back at the beginning of IGNITE and every so often I need to go back to it. Sometimes I can get tired. Sometimes I can get discouraged. “Nothing I'm doing is reaping anything.” Satan throws these types of thoughts at me so that I will give up. But I'm told to do everything with my whole heart as to the Lord and not get tired while doing good. God has me in this place doing these things for a reason. For His purposes. Nothing I'm doing in His name is meaningless. I don't always see the immediate results that I want. It doesn't matter. Do it as to the Lord. 

There are beautiful promises in both of these verses. I will receive the reward of inheritance. I will reap what I have sown. This isn't for nothing. For I serve the Lord Christ.  But also I am reminded that I need to not lose heart. Don't give up! You will receive the reward! You get to spend your eternity in heaven with the God of the universe! So don't give up! 

My application is to hang both of these verses on my wall and pray for God to give me joy and diligence in whatever I do in whatever state that I am in.

A Plea for Forgiveness - Philemon

Philemon 12-13 says, 

“I(Paul) am sending him back. You(Philemon) therefore receive him(Onesimus), that is, my own heart, whom I wished to keep with me, that on your behalf he might minister to me in my chains for the gospel. But without your consent I wanted to do nothing, that your good deed might not be by compulsion, as it were, but voluntary.”

     So we started studying Philemon and it really touched my heart. I had heard the story before but not really dug into it. If I could post the whole chapter on here, I would, because its just so good. Anyways, I thought I'd choose these verses but I'm kind of going to expound on the whole thing.

     Okay so the story of the book is this: Philemon was a Christian friend of Paul who had a servant named Onesimus. Onesimus was not a Christian and he stole from Philemon and ran away to Rome. But, he heard Paul talking about God and became saved. So now, Paul is writing to his “beloved friend and fellow laborer” in Christ, Philemon. He makes a plea for Philemon to accept Onesimus back as his slave. The normal treatment of this type of situation would be for Onesimus to be put to death. But Paul is appealing to Philemon as a Christ follower to forgive his new brother in Christ and accept him back.

     Ok there are multiple points of this story that I love because of it's relatability(just made up a word). Lots of people come to Christ after making a mess of their lives which means they have baggage from the things that they have done. No one is too far from God. Sin is sin and no matter what situation you are in, God loves you and wants you to accept Him and His will into your life. It doesn't matter if you were a thief, a murderer, adulterer, liar, or anything else. Your life is redeemable. God has plans for you. But you have to repent, believe in Him, and completely cut ties with your sin. So this is what happened to Onesimus. He was a thief but he found Jesus and repented and wanted to turn his life around. There was just the issue of getting Philemon on board with the idea.

     Another point that I love: Paul comes to Philemon as one who has needed this type of grace given to him. He persecuted Christians and was responsible for the death of Stephen and many other Christ followers. But then, Jesus got a hold of him and started using him to do amazing things in God's name and for His glory. But there was a time when he had to go back to the people who knew him and his awful reputation and needed them to extend him grace and forgiveness. He needed people to see him as washed in the blood of Jesus and not as a murderer. “Philemon, brother, this man Onesimus is a sinner just like I am, but God loves him and has saved him just like He did for me. Will you please extend him grace and accept him back to you?” God will use our messy pasts and beautiful testimonies as ways to relate to others and bring them to Him.

     We don't know what Philemon's response to Paul's letter was but we know what our response needs to be.

Colossians 3:12-14 says,

 “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. But above all these things put on love, which is the bond of perfection.” 

     No matter what someone has done to us and no matter what society says is the accepted response of being wronged is, we are called to love and forgive, just as Christ has done for us. So in short, sin is sin, no is too far gone to be saved. Our job is to love and forgive others no matter what they have done, just as Christ has loved and forgiven us.

John 15:12 says, 

“This is My commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.”  

     My application for this week is to pray that God would give me a forgiving heart and bring to my mind the immense grace he has given to me when I am in the place of needing to forgive others who have wronged me.

Field Time So Far... Month 2

  It's the start of month 3 of field time for us IGNITE Class 8 Interns so here's what Team Guat has been up to... At the beginning of this second month, my teammate and brother-in-Christ,  Theo, had to return to the States because he injured his knee and the doctors here told him that he needed surgery. But we soon learned that he didn't need surgery and he would be back on June 15th, which made us all really excited! Also the Drey Family of 5  heard God calling them back to their home church in California. They left last Sunday and although we are really sad to lose part of our family, I am so glad that they are following God's calling on their lives.
     So as for ministry things, we are still doing everything that I talked about in last month's update, like teaching in four schools throughout the week, hosting a Potter's Field Kid's club every Wednesday, teaching English and helping with a Kid's Club every other Thursday in Parramos, visiting the hospital on Fridays and helping with Kid's Club in Ciudad Vieja every other Saturday. Last Thursday, we had an outreach in the park where we sang some worship songs and presented one of our mimes which was really cool and I hope we get to do more outreaches like that soon. Right now we have the calm before the storm as we have a break from teaching for 2 weeks for the kids summer break. But in the next few weeks, mission teams will be arriving and in less than a month, IGNITE Class 9 will be starting.
     This summer is going to be action packed but so rich. I am really excited for what God has in store for us in the next few months. God is soooooo good and has been changing each of us to be more like Him. I am so thankful for the great team that God has made me a part of. Please be praying for us as we adjust to the new things that will be happening, especially in the next month. Please keep the Drey family in your prayers as God continues to show them His will for their lives. I would really appreciate prayer for flexibility for myself. Thank you all for your continued prayers and support!

By His Grace,

MaKayla

He Restores What I Have Ruined - Joel 2:25

Joel 2:25 says, 

“I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten,

The crawling locust,

The consuming locust,

And the chewing locust,

My great army which I sent among you.” 

     So at first glance, the detail in this verse seems random. But upon further studying, I realized that the reason that these four types of locusts are listed are because when all four are released on a plant, they would completely eat it way. Leaves, stem, flowers; all of it. What one leaves, the other eats and so on. Okay, so, now realize how incredibly cool this verse is. God says He is going to restore the years that have been completely eaten away. The years that have been totally wasted and don't even have meaning anymore. He will restore them! To restore is to bring back, return, repair. It doesn't matter how these years were destroyed; whether they were wasted or stolen. He will restore them.

     So in this process of healing that God has me in right now, this promise has brought me a tremendous amount of comfort. I don't know about you but even though I'm only 20, there are a lot of years that I have wasted. Many years have been eaten away by sin and carelessness. When I first rededicated my life to Christ, it was hard to not be discouraged because I was focused on my past and what I've done, thinking that there is no way that God could actually make something out of my life. It seemed to me like there was nothing left. That's what sin does; it destroys. But God restores. He has shown me that He is restoring the years that I have wasted. Even more, He is redeeming the past. He is going to use what I have ruined to show His strength and saving power. This is such a beautiful truth. I can already see how He is doing this in my life and I can't express how blessed I am to be saved and loved by this amazing God. The God who is the Redeemer and Restorer.

     As my application this week, I am going to draw a picture of what this verse means to me and hang it on my wall.

Whatever Things Are True... Philippians 4:8

Philippians 4:8 says, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report—if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.”

     This way of thinking is so foreign in our current culture. Our everyday life is so influenced by and full of gossip, lies, and fake. You can't turn on your TV or computer or look at newspapers or magazines without seeing the junk that is filling our society. Sex, alcohol and drugs control so many lives. We're told that the way we are isn't good enough. We need to do our makeup a certain way or wear a certain type of clothes or listen to a certain type of music to be accepted. We're influenced to believe in basically whatever you want as long as it isn't God.
     What is the problem with this? These things we're being told are the opposite of what we need to be meditating on. We choose to see, hear and think about everything accept for what is true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous or praiseworthy. So what is the truth? The truth is that we are sinners living in a fallen world, but we were created and are loved by a perfect and amazing God whose grace is overwhelming.
     I have lived a lot of my life letting myself be consumed with thoughts about myself and others that are untrue, impure, ugly, etc... My prayer lately has been that God would renew my mind(Romans 12:2). I don't want to see things or think about things the way that I used to. It doesn't matter what I have done. I am free and loved. I can't sit and think about who I used to be or what I really deserve. The truth now is that I have been washed clean by the sacrifice of my Savior.
     I have realized that the enemy uses my thoughts to keep me captive and chained to my past. I am in a war against the enemy but I am not on my own and the weapons that I have aren't the same as the world's. 2 Corinthians 10:4-6 says, “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.” I need to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. I need to put my thoughts in their place. I need to test them. Is what I'm thinking true, noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous or praiseworthy? If not then I need to get rid of it and replace it with a thought that is. This is something that I have been really working on for the past few months. This is something that you could be praying for me. My application is to continue working on this and write, “Is it true...?” on my wrist for the next week as a reminder.

He is Using the Weak to Shame the Strong - 1 Corinthians 1:26-31

1 Corinthians 1:26-31 says, “Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: 'Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.'”

This verse has been coming up a lot lately in every book I read and every Bible study I hear, and every time I see it, I remember how blessed I am. I am foolish. I am unworthy. I am weak. But because He wants to show His glory, He has chosen me, even with all of my foolishness. He is transforming my life every day. He is using me to do things that I could never do on my own. My only explanation for why God would possibly choose me and use me is that He is doing exactly what this passage says. He is using the weak to shame the strong. What God is doing in and through my life is all because He wants to show His glory. When I think of what and where I was when God saved me, I can't help but be amazed at God's goodness and sovereignty.
     This passage makes me think of when Samuel went to anoint one of Jesse's sons to be the next king of Israel. Both Jesse and and Samuel were using the world's standards to choose who should be the next king. But God was on a totally different track. God doesn't see with the world's perspective. In his family's eyes, David was the least of all of them. He was just the shepherd boy. Jesse was so convinced that David wouldn't be selected to be king that he didn't even call him when he was told to gather all of his sons. But God saw him completely differently. He saw someone after His heart that He could use to show His glory. No one ever thought David was capable of doing anything significant. David was weak and God saw an opportunity to transform him into a mighty man for His glory.
     David's story and 1 Corinthians 1:26-31 are encouraging to me because I know that I am foolish and weak but I can see God's hand in my life. The only explanation I can think of for why He would choose me and use me is so that others look at my life and see Him. I am so humbled every day by where I was and where I am now and I know I have a long way to go but I know that He will finish the work that He has started in me(Philippians 1:6). I could never boast in myself because on my own, I am weak and foolish. All I can do it boast in the Lord and His goodness and strength.

Application:
I am going to put this passage on my wall.

His Grace is Sufficient - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

     Why am I here? I'm weak. I'm broken. I'm injured. I don't even speak Spanish. I don't deserve anything but death and depravity. But yet, He has put me here, to serve Him and the people of Antigua. Why has God chosen me to be here? I have no idea. I am so beyond unworthy, but that's the thing. His grace is sufficient. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. I have come to the point where I am just saying,”God, I am so inadequate and I can't do this on my own. I'm so weak.” And that's when He says, “Perfect, you're just where I need you.”
     God can only use my life when I(and others) know that it's not me doing the work. Having a hurt hip has been frustrating because it holds me back and I can't always do what I want or what I feel that I need to do. But it keeps me humble. It makes me rely on God's strength because most of the time, I feel like I literally cannot take another step. But then I lean on Him and He grants me the strength. If I think that I can do anything on my own, that's when I am going to fail. But I boast in my weakness and His strength.
    I teach English and the Bible at four public schools in Guatemala along with other ministry work. I feel so unqualified but that's okay because it makes me lean on God for strength. If I had to do anything by myself, I would constantly be failing. I have been trying to do life on my own for  years. I've been putting up a front of godliness when I was just leaning on my own strength and understanding. But it left me empty, hopeless, and depressed. I had no joy or strength. But for some reason, God has a plan for my life. He loves me and He lifted me out of the hole that I had dug for myself. He has given me a purpose and a sure and steadfast hope. I came to a place of realizing that I cannot and do not want to do this by myself anymore. It was at that place of complete weakness that He showed me where I can gain strength. In Him and only Him.
     Towards the middle of IGNITE training, I was confused because I started thinking, “Why in the world am I here? Why would God use a mess like me? Why would He choose a spiritually and physically broken person to serve His people? I can't even help myself, how will I be able to help others?”  A friend shared this passage with me and it was then that I realized that God wants to use me so that people see His glory and strength. He wants people to see my life and think, “She could never do this on her own. This must be God.”
     The way that God is using this program to completely transform my life blows me away. I am so far from the person that I was 4 months ago and I can't wait to see where I am in 8 more months.

Application:
I'm going to write “His Grace is Sufficient” on one arm and “His Strength is Made Perfect in Weakness” on the other arm all week.

Field Time So Far... Month 1

     Ok so yesterday marks the end of our first month of serving time here in Guatemala. Here is a recap of what is going on down here. For those just now tuning in, I am an intern with Potter's Field IGNITE Missions Training School in Antigua, Guatemala. For more information on this program you can click this: pottersfield.org/ignite. In April, my class finished our 3 months of training in Guatemala and each headed to our homes for a family visit before returning to the missions field to start 6 months of field time. 4 of our teammates went off to Kenya, 2 others went to Cambodia and 5 of us and a family of 5 returned to Guatemala. 

     Here in Guatemala, we have been teaching English and the Bible in some of the public schools here. That is craziness in and of itself because we speak very little Spanish but I think we're learning pretty quickly. I am so beyond blessed that this is what I get to do. I have over 200 sweet students running up to me every week calling me Seño(teacher) and that is together terrifying and so very cool.

    So besides teaching in the schools 4 days a week, we also visit the local hospital where people with disabilities live and we get to just hang out with them. For the past two weeks we've been able to hang out with the children and feed them dinner. Every Wednesday, we host Kid's Club and kids from all over town come to the Potter's Field Center and eat lunch and then we play games, sing and dance to songs about Jesus and share a Bible lesson. At Kid's Club, my heart has been completely stolen by a five-year-old little girl named Damariz. She is quiet but also so playful, sweet and mischievous. I get so excited to play with her every week.

     We also started going to a church not too far away in Parramos and we are starting up a Kid's Club there as well. The goal is to show the people there what we do and help them take over running the Kid's Club. We also teach English there. Last Thursday was our first week in Parramos and we were exhausted afterward(since we each teach between 4 and 5 classes that morning and then after lunch, head there) but it went really well and was so much fun. Every other Saturday, we go to Ciudad Vieja and help them with a Kid's Club that they have there. We have also visited a dump in Esquintla with an organization called BuildinGuate  We played with kids that live at the dump with their families and we helped BuildinGuate with their soup kitchen.

     Okay, so almost two weeks ago, our teammate Theo hurt his knee and after several doctors appointments and an MRI, it was decided that he needed surgery on his meniscus and possibly on his ACL as well. He left for the States this past Tuesday so that he could get surgery there and we weren't sure if he would be well enough to come back during field time. After much sadness but also realization that nothing surprises God and that He has a plan through all of this, we found out yesterday that the doctors there say that surgery isn't necessary and with three weeks of physical therapy it looks like, God-willing, he will be well enough to come back to Guatemala! It has been so sad to not have him here this week and so this is incredibly exciting news. God is so good. Please keep him in your prayers. 

     Also, our classmate Kaitlin in Cambodia has been really sick since she got there a month ago. Please keep her in your prayers as well. 

     It's been pretty action packed since getting here. Something that I cannot express enough is how good God is. He is the Redeemer, Provider, Healer and so much more and it just blows me away. He continues to provide at every turn. So yeah, that's my life in the past month. Stay tuned to hear about what else God is doing here. Thank you so more for you love and support. Please keep this ministry in your prayers. 

Stop Striving - Matthew 11:28-30

 Matthew 11:28-30 says, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Ok so I've been reading a book called Touching Godliness by K. P. Yohannan and it has really been knocking my socks off. It's about submission and how when you rebel against the authorities that God has placed in your life, you are actually refusing to submit to Him. It doesn't matter if the people in authority over you are Christians, or you are actually smarter than them, God has placed them in authority over you so your job is to submit and you will be blessed.

So, one of the chapters is about how Jesus is our example and he mentions this verse and a point that he made just blew me away. So Jesus tells us to take His yoke upon ourselves. That means that Jesus had a yoke to bear. My Jesus isn't proud or someone who expects me to work while He sits above me and watches. He is broken, humble and submissive asking me to come beside Him and be under that same yoke of submission.

God has been using this passage to speak to me during the time that I have been in IGNITE, especially during training. He has been changing me and stretching me and growing me so much during this time. But there were times during training that I just felt burdened. I start to look at the work that I'm doing as exactly that. Work that I am doing. I try to do everything by myself and take the glory without realizing it but I get tired and heavy laden. But Jesus tells me to lay down my burdens and take up His. I don't have to try. This work isn't mine, it's His. He wants to work through me. The work that God is using me for is not about me and I need to stop looking at it that way and give my burdens to Him. He will give me rest. This isn't talking about physical rest necessarily but I don't have to strive anymore. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. When I give into what He is doing and let Him work through me, I can rest in Him. This is really comforting to me. I love my Jesus.

Application:

This is a verse that I had on my bunk during training but isn't up anymore so I am going to put in on my wall and also be praying that Christ would work through me instead of me trying to do the work myself. I want to take His yoke.

Proverbs 3:5-6 Inductive Bible Study 5/5/15

Proverbs 3:5-6,”Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all you ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

Ok so these are verses that I have had memorized for as long as I can remember. My mom had a CD that put it to music and I think it was the theme verse for a VBS that I was a part of. But do I actually ever think about what these words mean? These verses hold amazing promises but when I get caught up in the chaos of life, I forget to hold on to these promises.

1) I can trust God with my heart. I need to trust Him with everything(my thoughts, my plans, my dreams, etc.) and I can because He is trustworthy. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” He has known me and has had a plan for me since before the beginning of time. He knew the sin I would choose; He knew that I would know Him and still walk away from Him. But He has saved me and has a plan and good works that He wants me to walk in. He knows things that I don't because He can see the full picture at once. This tells me that I can trust Him with everything. I am His masterpiece. He loves me and He is taking care of me.

2) He will give me His understanding. If I'm not supposed to lean on my own understanding than this tells me that He is going to give me His understanding. I don't have to depend on what I know. I can give my weakness to Him and ask for His wisdom. This takes so much pressure off of me. I don't have to know what I'm doing on my own, I just need to look to the Creator of the universe and He will give me understanding.

3) He will be my guide. In everything I do, everywhere I go, every thought that I think, everything, I need to look to God. I need to look to what He says as important and ask Him to show me what to do every time that I need to make a decision. It's amazing to me that I get the privilege of walking with the Creator of the universe and that I can ask Him what I need to do. He will direct my paths. Like I already said, He has a plan for me. But I have free will and can choose to walk away from the good works that He has for me. But if I will trust in Him, lean on Him for understanding, and let Him direct my paths, He will guide me in the plan that He has for me.

It's amazing to have these promises in the midst of a hectic and ever-changing life. There is no need to worry no matter what is happening as long as I am trusting in Him because He is guiding me and I don't have to depend on myself.

Application:

I'm going to put these verses in the front of my school notebook so that I see it just about every day and when I get overwhelmed with what God has me doing right now(teaching English and the Bible in public schools in Guatemala) I will remember these promises.

Hosea 2:23 Inductive Bible Study

Hosea 2:23 says, “Then I will sow her for Myself in the earth, and I will have mercy on her who had not obtained mercy; Then I will say to those who were not my people, 'You are My people!' And they shall say, 'You are my God!'”

So in continuing with my study in Hosea, I found this verse. This is beautiful because, as I mentioned in my last IBS post, God told Hosea to name two of his children Lo-Ruhamah (not having obtained mercy) and Lo-Ammi (not my people). This verse is saying that He will basically renew them back to how they were supposed to be. The whole beginning of the book of Hosea is about God's judgment towards Israel and the consequences that they are going to receive for their disobedience. But starting at 2:14, we see that God's judgment won't last forever. 2:14 says,”I will allure her(Israel), will bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfort to her.” How beautiful this picture is! God's people have been disobedient, rejected Him, and run after other gods too many times to count, yet He still loves them. He is judging them and giving them consequences, but that will end eventually. The punishment has a purpose. He wants to remind them that He is the one who has always provided for them and taken care of them and that without Him, they have nothing. But He wants to allure them; to captivate them and draw them back to Himself. In verse 16, the Lord talks about how, when that day comes, His people will no longer call Him Master but Husband. The word Baal(the name of one of their false gods) can mean Master. So this would help them to disassociate the one true God with the false gods that they are used to worshiping.  He says that He will betroth them to Him forever, in righteousness, justice, lovingkindness, faithfulness and mercy. These are the people that left God after all He did for them. The ones who blatantly pursued other gods. And He is saying that they will be committed to each other forever.

This just blows me away. And then I realize that this is exactly what He has done for us! We are His and we have strayed from Him and yet He is bringing us back. He is alluring me to Himself. He has provided for me and I have blatantly turned away from Him. Yet, knowing the choices that I would make beforehand, He still loves me enough to sacrifice Himself for my sin and change my name. My name was Fallen and now it's Forgiven. I was Captive but now I am Free. He does not hold against me the sins of my past. They are gone and forgotten. “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:12) He has given me mercy and grace when I least deserved it. The Creator of the universe has called me His. I can't even explain how blessed I feel by knowing this.

Application:

Today, I am going to memorize this verse and post it on my wall so that I can remember who and Whose I am.

Inductive Bible Study Hosea 2:8 4/20/15

Hosea 2:8 says, ”For she did not know that I gave her new grain, new wine, and oil, and multiplied her silver and gold- which they prepared for Baal.”

So during my quiet time, I've been studying in the book of Hosea. Hosea was a prophet during a time where Israel was totally rebelling and pursuing other gods. God told Hosea to marry a harlot because He was making a symbol for His people. Hosea and his wife, Gomer, had a daughter and God told them to name her Lo-Ruhamah which means “not loved” or “no mercy”. And God told them to name one of their sons Lo-Ammi which means “not my people”. Most of the first two chapters of Hosea are God talking to His people through Hosea, telling them how they will be destroyed and He will turn away from them because of their adulterous sin.

In the verses surrounding this verse, God is talking about how He is going to take everything that they have from them so that they will turn back to Him. When they realize that the life they are choosing is fruitless and full of famine, He says that they will return to Him because they see that life was better for them then(2:7). In 2:8, He's saying that they didn't even realize that everything that they had came from Him. Aren't we like this so often? Everything that we have is from God. This isn't our world, and these aren't our bodies; nothing here belongs to us. God created everything and gives to us everything that we have. But I take all of this for granted. I forget that I wouldn't have anything if God didn't give it to me. So then when we make bad choices and turn from God, we get frustrated when opportunities don't work out or we lose the things that we had. Nothing I have is mine, so what makes me think that I can do whatever I want and still have all the blessings that I had when I was walking with God and trusting Him for everything?

Something else that I find interesting in this verse is when it says, ”which they prepared for Baal.” They took what God had given them and used them to worship other gods. This is something that I also tend to do. I use the talents and opportunities and other things that God has blessed me with and use them to pursue the things that I put above God.

Application:

So today, I will write “All I have is Yours” and post it on the wall above my bed so that I am reminded daily not to take the things that God has given me for granted.

Updated Blog April 2015

So I'm in the airport right now traveling back to the States for my 10 day break before I start my field time in Guatemala. I currently have a 5 hour layover so I thought I would use some of this time to let you know how the last 3 months have been and what I will be doing when I go back to Guatemala.

God has used these last 3 months to radically transform me into a completely different person. When I first arrived in Guatemala, I was insincere, hard-hearted and really just thought that there was no way God even wanted to use me. I felt irredeemable and empty. Within the first few weeks, a genuine desire for God was growing in my heart but my past was getting in the way. I felt like I couldn't talk to God; like He didn't actually want to hear from me. And then all of a sudden it was like His Word started breaking through my hard heart. I realized that I didn't have to be held captive to my sin anymore. I asked God for forgiveness and was set free. When I had doubts, His sweet voice would remind me that whom the Son sets free is free indeed. Sometimes I still had a hard time forgiving myself but I realized that if God had forgotten about it, what right did I have to bring it up?

Besides freeing me from the bondage of sin that I had put myself in, God gave me an amazing family. He brought eleven young adults and a family of five, all with vastly different backgrounds and personalities, together to Guatemala to become a family in His name. As we grow closer to God, we have grown closer to each other. Every week, we have a Potter’s Field Kid’s Club, where a bunch of sweet kids from all over Antigua come to play together, eat lunch, sing songs and hear about the love of Jesus. I have fallen so deeply in love with these kids. We have learned so much through the variety of classes that we have been taking every day. I’ve learned about how to better defend my faith, share the Gospel, be a humble servant, and so many more important lessons. Yesterday was a hard day as I said goodbye to half of my new family for six months as they leave to pursue God's plan for them in different parts of the world(i.e. Cambodia, Kenya…) I am going to miss them so much but I so incredibly excited to see what God does in and through them, in the next six months. I have been so encouraged by them and I know that others will be as well.

When I return to Guatemala in 10 days, the rest of my team and I will be going into 4 different public schools in Antigua and teaching English using the Bible as our curriculum.  We will also be leading PF Kid’s Club each week, have opportunities to serve at our local Calvary Chapel, have outreaches in town where we share mimes or skits that share the Gospel message, ministering at the local hospital and so much more. I’m so excited for what God is going to do in the next six months. I can’t wait to see the opportunities that He gives me and the situations that will help me grow and become more like Him. Please be praying for me to have flexibility. Also, please just keep IGNITE Class 8 in prayer as we start our field times all over the world.

Thank you so much for your prayers!

By His Grace,

MaKayla <3 :)