No Condemnation... Romans 8:1

Romans 8:1 says,
“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.”

So my life was really messed up last year. I made a lot of really stupid decisions and blatantly sinned against the Lord. I lived in a mess of disgusting sin, complete hypocrisy and false holiness. I pretended to have a relationship with Christ while running fast and hard away from Him. At the beginning of this year, God rescued me from myself and showed me that I am not too far from His saving grace. Something that I face on a pretty regular basis is memories and guilt from what I did. I am no longer living in that sin but that doesn't mean that I don't still have consequences from it. So yesterday was one of those days where I had to come face to face with my past and recount the things that I had done. Something though that is so important but often hard to remember is that my past is exactly that, past. It's gone; behind me. I am washed in the Blood of the Lamb and I am in Christ Jesus. Now because I am in Christ Jesus I need to know that there is no condemnation for me. There is conviction from the Holy Spirit when I sin but no condemnation. The devil is constantly trying to drag us down and away from God. One of the ways that he accomplishes this is by throwing condemnation at us. He wants us to believe that we are too bad; too far from grace; not good enough for God to love. But those thoughts are not from God. I am not worthless. I am not too far gone. I have made bad choices. I have hurt people. But I am in Christ Jesus and now I have a future. I am free from the chains of sin and condemnation. Satan can try to throw these things in my face but they no longer have any truth in Christ. I don't have to live in fear of not having a future because of the truth of this next verse:

Romans 8:28 says,
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

My application for this week is to write “no condemnation” on my right hand.

Where Is Your Faith? Luke 8:22-25

Luke 8:22-25 says,

“Now it happened, on a certain day, that He got into a boat with His disciples. And He said to them, 'Let us cross over to the other side of the lake.'And they launched out. But as they sailed He fell asleep. And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water, and were in jeopardy. And they came to Him and awoke Him, saying, 'Master, Master, we are perishing!' Then He arose and rebuked the wind and the raging of the water. And they ceased, and there was a calm. But He said to them, 'Where is your faith?'And they were afraid, and marveled, saying to one another, 'Who can this be? For He commands even the winds and water, and they obey Him!'”

This past Saturday, we had a Women’s Bible Study at church and part of what was shared was about God's faithfulness and trustworthiness. At one point, Miss Karol said something about how the Lord has never left us or let us go so why do we fear? Why don't we trust Him? He's brought us this far, why would He leave us now? This was very convicting to me because only a few hours before this, I had mentioned to the girls on my team how fearful I am of the future because it's so unsure. Well I've been reading through Luke in my personal devotions and so Sunday morning, I read the above passage in Luke 8 and I was convicted even more. Let me explain.

So Jesus' disciples had been with Him for a good amount of time by this point. They had seen miracle upon miracle and listened to so many sermons and parables of His. They have been walking right beside the Son of God and then they get on this boat and entered a storm. They should have realized that this storm was so not a big deal for Jesus. In reality they had nothing to fear. They were with Jesus, for goodness sake! Didn't they remember all that He had done so far??? But there they were, only seeing the storm in front of them and freaking out, convinced that they were about to die. So then they wake up Jesus, informing Him of their seemingly imminent death. But for Jesus, He just calms the storm like it's just another day and asks them where their faith is. “Hello, haven't you seen me perform miracles on a regular basis? Don't you remember who I am? Why do you fret? Why can't you trust me?”

So my first thoughts after reading this are that the disciples are ridiculous and foolish for being scared. But then I remember my fear. “Um, Hello Mak, you've experienced God's faithfulness. You've seen the miracle that He has done with your life. You've seen what He can do with messes and wrecks. And yet you are currently fearful for your future. You doubt that the Lord is going to take care of you and provide. You doubt His capability. You doubt His power and sovereignty. Who are you to judge those who doubt?” Okay, point taken. Those things happening one right after the other was clearly the Lord responding to my admitted fear. “Where is your faith, beloved? Remember Who I am. Remember my promises and my faithfulness. I know what I'm doing.” So realizing all of this, I can now look at this passage that Miss Karol shared on Saturday as a reminder instead of not believing that it applies to me.

Proverbs 3:25-26 says,

“Do not be afraid of sudden terror,
Nor of trouble from the wicked when it comes;
For the Lord will be your confidence,
And will keep your foot from being caught.”

God is good. He is faithful. I am so thankful for what hes done in the last 8 months and I am excited to just lean on Him in this new phase of life. Things seem uncertain but I know that this is where He has called me so I am stepping out in faith knowing that He is there and will never leave me.

My application for this week is to give my insecurities and fears to Jesus and take time to journal about what He has done in my life and the reminders of His faithfulness. Also to journal the Scriptures that He has laid on my heart to remind me that He holds my future and that there is nothing to fear.

So Good to Me... Psalm 40:1-3

Psalm 40:1-3 says,

“I waited patiently for the Lord; And He inclined to me,
And heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, Out of the miry clay,
And set my feet upon a rock, And established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, And will trust in the Lord.”

So we have chapel every Thursday night here in Guatemala. Some of the girls that usually lead worship love this song called, “So Good to Me” and so it gets played often. Well, that song came pretty directly out of this passage in Psalm 40. I love this song but I don't really think about what it says often enough. So when I read this in my morning devotions the other day, I was hit afresh with the deep significance of what David is saying here.

Okay, I have sinned a lot in my life. I sin everyday. But last year, I had dug the most horrible pit of sin for myself. I was living a life of ugly and dirty bold-faced hypocrisy. I got to the point eventually where I was convinced that God didn't want to hear from me. I had a relationship with Him but I chose to walk away from Him, knowing what He had done for me on the cross, so therefore I was sure that He must have hated me. But then for some reason, knowing the cry of my heart, God picked me up out of that mess that I had put myself in. I have been washed in Jesus' blood and made perfect in His sight. This year, He set me upon a rock and has established my steps. To establish means to set up on a firm or permanent basis. This is what He has done! My path was so unsteady and broken and He picked me up and off of that way and made my steps firm and my path permanent. As a result of all of this, He has given me a new song of gratefulness. The only song I had before was of self pity and misery and now I don't feel content without praising the One who has brought me here. I know that this new life that I have wasn't given to me for me to live however I want but to always be able to tell others of what He has done for me.

My application for this week is to remember to be so thankful for what God has done for me. When I get frustrated or tired I need to remember the grace and love that has been given to me and praise Him for it.  

Nevertheless At Your Word... Luke 5:4-6

Luke 5:4-6 says,

“When He had stopped speaking, He said to Simon, 'Launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch.' But Simon answered and said to Him, 'Master, we have toiled all night and caught nothing; nevertheless at Your word I will let down the net.' And when they had done this, they caught a great number of fish, and their net was breaking. ”

So this was from my devotions this morning and I couldn't stop going back to it. I love Peter's response. It just makes me think of how often I don't trust God and I think that I know better. Simon Peter was a fisherman. He knew what He was doing and He had been trying to catch all night. Jesus' request probably sounded ridiculous. My thoughts most likely would have been, “Doesn't He realize that I have tried that already? He has no idea what He's talking about. Doesn't He know that this is my job?” But no. His response was nothing like that. As far as we know, he barely knew Jesus, but he trusted Him anyways.  He recognized Jesus as authority when he called Him Master. Instead of being prideful and thinking that he knew everything, he humbled himself and obeyed. And his faith did not go unrewarded. Not only did they catch fish but they caught so much that the net was breaking and in the following verses it talks about how they filled 2 boats with so much that they started to sink! How incredible is that!

Okay, so in life, sometimes what God tells me to do doesn't make any sense to me. I forget that He sees the finished tapestry and I only see a bunch of tangled strings. So many times, my response is, “Lord, I have my own plans and I really like them and I would rather not follow yours.” Or ,”God I am really comfortable where I am and I don't want to experience change.” In November of 2013, my response was, “Lord, I know that you have called me to IGNITE in Guatemala, but I'm comfortable in California with my job and housing situation and not having to stretch or change and following You will take faith and trust because I don't have the funds to go so instead, I'm not going to obey you and I'm going to stay put.” I can honestly say that that this decision not to follow God's plans caused so much heartache in the year and a half that followed and if I could go back in time I would change it. But I also know that finally deciding to obey in January of this year, because I felt like I had no other option, has led to more blessing than I could ever imagine. That obedience has led to so much more grace, forgiveness, love and provision than I ever expected to receive. I wish that I would have chosen to obey when I was first called to it instead of waiting until I was so deep in a hole of sin that obeying was my last option. But I am so grateful because I have still been abundantly blessed even though I was so slow to obedience. I pray that in the future, my response will be,”Nevertheless at Your word, Lord,” from the beginning. 

My application for this week is to write, “Nevertheless at Your word,” on my wall so that I have a reminder of what my response to God's calling needs to be.  

Knocked Down, Not Knocked Out... 2 Corinthians 4:6-10

2nd Corinthians 4:6-10

“For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed— always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body.” 

So we had a missions team come stay with us last week from Calvary Chapel San Juan Capistrano in California and their youth pastor, Pastor Andrew, shared at chapel last Thursday on 2nd Corinthians 4 and this passage (verses 6-10) really stuck out to me. 

We are earthen vessels filled with the power of God. We're like broken falling apart treasure chests that really shouldn't be holding treasure because it keeps spilling out. But as the treasures falls out it effects others.  

There has been a lot of visible change in my heart and mind in the last 8 months. The Lord has done an amazing work in me and I don't say that to boast but to say that I can't explain it except for Jesus. He is so good and for some reason He wants to work in me and every other sinner in this broken world to touch others for Him. It is obvious that I am just a powerless earthen vessel and so when God uses me, it's SO obvious that it is Him and not me because I really am powerless and on my own not capable of doing anything truly good. My prayer is that when people see me, they understand that nothing good that I do is of me but it is the power of the Lord; I really have nothing to do with it.

As a follower of Christ, I have seen and will see hard times. There is pressure from the world. There is confusion, persecution and pain. But these things cannot truly hurt me. Sure, it hurts in this life but this earthly life is not all I have. I'm going to heaven. Right now, I'm only knocked down, not knocked out. I am promised persecution in this life, it will happen. But God. I don't have to fear the things that happen to me here. I know that it is all for the glory of my God and I will come face to face with Him one day and I want to know that I knew my role in this world, in this ministry that is my life. This life is not about me. This ministry is not about me. Salvation has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God and that brings me so much joy. I cannot save myself and I don't have to try. It's all about Jesus. This life is not really mine. I am called to die daily that Christ may live through me. I remember what the death of my Jesus has done for me so that His resurrection power may shine through my life. 

My application this week is to write “Knocked down, not knocked out” on my right wrist and “It's not about me but about Him” on my left wrist as reminders.

Field Time so far... Months 4 and 5

      As I type this, there are exactly 5 weeks until my team and I leave Guatemala for reentry in Montana with the rest of our class. How did this happen so quickly? I swear it was January yesterday! These last 8 months have been amazing and God has been so good and faithful in showing me what a mess my life was without Him and the amazing plans that He has for me and desires for me to walk in.

     So somehow, I completely spaced out on writing an update for July- August, so this month's update will be about mid-July – mid-September.

     July and August were full of missions trips. So busy. So good. Almost every week we had a new team coming in from different places in the States. It has been amazing getting to meet so many new people, hear what God is doing in their lives, and share with them what the Lord has done in my life through this year. With the missions teams, we did outreaches in markets and parks, went to the hospital, threw huge, carnival type Kid's Clubs (which the kids LOVED by the way), and went to the dump in Esquintla. One of my team's new favorite outreaches that we just started doing a few months ago is bring pancakes and eggs to Antigua's Central Park and giving them away to the vendor's that work there. These outreaches are full of fun times, huge smiles and fellowship.

     So, most likely, the reason that I forgot to write an update is because the second week of August, a team of Potter's Field Sponsors came and that week was EXTREMELY busy and amazing. God blessed me so much during that trip through the people that I met. He also confirmed a calling in my heart that I had started feeling but wasn't sure about.

     In the midst of all the missions team, we are still teaching at four schools a week and having between 1 and 3 Kid's Clubs a week at different locations. God is so good. He is so faithful and He is still teaching me more about Himself every day.

     Thank you for your prayers and support! I am excited for what the Lord has to show me in the last few months of this amazing journey.

By His Grace,

MaKayla