2 Corinthians 12:9-10 says, “And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
Why am I here? I'm weak. I'm broken. I'm injured. I don't even speak Spanish. I don't deserve anything but death and depravity. But yet, He has put me here, to serve Him and the people of Antigua. Why has God chosen me to be here? I have no idea. I am so beyond unworthy, but that's the thing. His grace is sufficient. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. I have come to the point where I am just saying,”God, I am so inadequate and I can't do this on my own. I'm so weak.” And that's when He says, “Perfect, you're just where I need you.”
God can only use my life when I(and others) know that it's not me doing the work. Having a hurt hip has been frustrating because it holds me back and I can't always do what I want or what I feel that I need to do. But it keeps me humble. It makes me rely on God's strength because most of the time, I feel like I literally cannot take another step. But then I lean on Him and He grants me the strength. If I think that I can do anything on my own, that's when I am going to fail. But I boast in my weakness and His strength.
I teach English and the Bible at four public schools in Guatemala along with other ministry work. I feel so unqualified but that's okay because it makes me lean on God for strength. If I had to do anything by myself, I would constantly be failing. I have been trying to do life on my own for years. I've been putting up a front of godliness when I was just leaning on my own strength and understanding. But it left me empty, hopeless, and depressed. I had no joy or strength. But for some reason, God has a plan for my life. He loves me and He lifted me out of the hole that I had dug for myself. He has given me a purpose and a sure and steadfast hope. I came to a place of realizing that I cannot and do not want to do this by myself anymore. It was at that place of complete weakness that He showed me where I can gain strength. In Him and only Him.
Towards the middle of IGNITE training, I was confused because I started thinking, “Why in the world am I here? Why would God use a mess like me? Why would He choose a spiritually and physically broken person to serve His people? I can't even help myself, how will I be able to help others?” A friend shared this passage with me and it was then that I realized that God wants to use me so that people see His glory and strength. He wants people to see my life and think, “She could never do this on her own. This must be God.”
The way that God is using this program to completely transform my life blows me away. I am so far from the person that I was 4 months ago and I can't wait to see where I am in 8 more months.
Application:
I'm going to write “His Grace is Sufficient” on one arm and “His Strength is Made Perfect in Weakness” on the other arm all week.
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